The Things I Wish I Knew Before College Ended (And Before Life Humbled Me in Germany)

 I used to think life just… happened for me.

I did my bachelor’s in History from DU in India. And like everyone else around me, I had a degree. In India, everyone has a degree. So I assumed — what’s the big deal? Who’s going to hire someone who just “knows history”?

I liked writing. I read a lot. I blogged. But I thought, anyone can write. It’s not special.

I even landed an interview with Hindustan Times once. Cleared the first round. Never heard back.

And that was enough for me to quietly decide:
“Okay. This isn’t going to work.”

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The Cultural Management Detour

After my bachelor’s, I was confused. A friend told me about a cultural management diploma at IGNCA under the Ministry of Culture. It wasn’t a full master’s, just a one-year course. But it changed me.

There was no age limit in that class. People my parents’ age sat beside me. And I had to call them by their first names. That was more shocking than any theory we studied.

It opened my mind.

Then COVID happened.

And then, somehow, I started working at India Lost and Found. I began as a social media manager. Then I moved into research. Then I headed the research department for two years.

I learned. I grew. Things just… kept landing in front of me.

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The Germany Chapter (Aka The Bubble Burst)

I always thought I’d go to America. My cousin was there. That was the path.

But then Germany appeared. My brother was here. Public universities were cheap. English programs existed. No loan needed.

I applied to one university.

I got in.

One application. One acceptance.

At that point, I genuinely thought — maybe I’m just made for this. Maybe everything works out for me.

I came to Germany in January 2022. Finished my degree in March 2025.

And here’s the truth:

I didn’t hustle during my master’s.

I made friends. I travelled. I attended heritage summits. I worked part-time at a restaurant to survive. But I didn’t build networks strategically. I didn’t prepare for the German job market.

Because somewhere in my brain, I believed:

A job will land in front of me. Like everything else did.

It didn’t.

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The Therapy Chapter I Never Talk About

At some point, the university suggested I go to therapy. That’s a story for another day.

I went.

My therapist told me I had depression and suggested antidepressants.

Around that time, some of my friends in Germany were also in therapy. Many of them were diagnosed with depression and started medication.

And I noticed something very superficial and very human: some of them gained weight.

And my brain — already struggling with body image — immediately went:

“Nope. I’m not depressed. I’m just dramatic. I refuse to gain weight.”

Was I in denial? Maybe.
Was I scared? Definitely.
Was I equating my worth with my body? Absolutely.

I told myself I didn’t need medication. That I was fine. That I just needed to “try harder.”

Mental health is complicated. Medication helps many people. It saves lives. I just wasn’t ready then.

But what I didn’t realize was this:

Sometimes depression doesn’t look like not getting out of bed.
Sometimes it looks like functioning, working full-time, applying for jobs every day — and crying yourself to sleep every night.

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The Job Search That Broke My Ego

Since graduating, I’ve been applying for jobs. Every day.

I have a four-year work visa. I work full-time at the same restaurant because my rent, insurance, and life are expensive. I hate the job, but I need it to survive.

I’ve landed interviews.

But in India, after every first interview, I got the job.

Germany doesn’t work like that.

Here, you need language. Networks. “Experience in Germany.” Cultural fit. References. Patience.

My dream used to be UNESCO.

Then it became: okay, maybe a museum job.

Now it’s: please just something related to what I studied.

This is the humbling part nobody talks about.

When you were the “smart one.”
When things came easily.
When you thought you were a big deal.

And then you meet a system that doesn’t care about your potential.

Only positioning.

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What I Wish I Knew Before College Ended

1. Being “gifted” is not a career strategy.

2. Passion is beautiful — but positioning pays rent.

3. Moving abroad resets your identity to zero.

4. Survival jobs are not failure.

5. You are allowed to grieve the version of yourself who thought life would be easier.

And maybe the most important one:

You can do everything “right” and still feel lost.